Buckle up fella's, its gonna be a bumpy ride.

Sunday, February 19, 2006

Tax Returns

I got my tax returns just the other day. What a blessing. I ran all the way to the bank. Really, I ran. My car broke down and I had to cash the check. My partime jobs at the 'Iron Nickle' and 'Velma's Bakery and Shoe Repair' paid off. I decided to put the money to good use and buy a reliable car. That and a new hair style. My cousin Ruby owner of the only beauty shop in town, The Split End, did my hair for a big discount. I got a pink rinse to hide the grey. My sister Vurlene said it almost matches her drapes, it is that pretty!

When I get paid next week, I am going to take the donut off of my car and get a real one. Vurlene let me have her portable radio to strap to the dash board so I can listen to my Patula Clark tapes. Wyatt is going to tighten the coat hanger holding the hood down so it won't fly up when I'm a driving again. On the way to the Cooter Pharmacy,Tanning and DMV the hood flew up and I couldn't see that I was headed straight for Eula Turbin's pet pot belly pig. She wasn't too upset though cause that pig just 'bout ate her out of house and home. She said that now she won't have to pay Walter Cunnings for another hog next month, she'll have plenty of hog jowl and bacon for while.

When I turn the blinker on to turn right the heater turns off and the headlights dim. Also, the gas guage doesn't work, but I just use a long yard stick to make sure I don't go empty. Well, Wyatt said Janice is on the phone for me. She probably needs a ride to the video store to take back the workout videos she's been watchin. She's on a new pot pie diet she read about in the Southeast Missouri Woman's Home Journal. She's already lost 12 pounds.




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